Stand For Something Big

The following has been adapted from Episode 035 of The Goal Wizard Show for publication here.

When I was younger, I rebelled against my upbringing, religion and society. Unlike some of my peers, I didn't get into drugs or alcohol (though I did get into alcohol abuse later on.), I choose instead to become a Marxist-Leninist Communist. I thought that was a Great Cause, the emancipation of the oppressed caught in wage slavery. However, the party I choose to involve myself with, the U.S. Socialist Workers Party which by the time I formally joined in May of 1981 was a thoroughly reformist party. I only became involved with the SWP because it was a love-at-first-sight infatuation after I read a few issues of The Militant, the Party's weekly newspaper. Had I been exposed first to the Spartacist League or even the Revolutionary Communist Party I would've probably joined them instead. But, be that as it may, I found far-left political activism to be a dead-end street.

The second phase of my rebellion after I left the SWP and had a very brief membership in the Socialist Labor Party. I had made friends with a colorful individual who had far-out ideas that intrigued me. A few months after I met him, he joined the Nichiren Shoshu Soka Gakkai of America (NSA). He wanted to shakabuku (convert) me, but at first I thought chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to a piece of paper (the Gohonzon) I couldn't read was silly. However, in 1984 I had limited prospects (I was working a horrible job-with great people in a plant nursery) and few friends so I gave it a try. 

I first started chanting while I was driving tractor around the nursery. When I did so, much synchronous events unfolded before me. By May of 1984 I was convinced, and on Memorial Day week-end I received Gojukai (formal acceptance of Nichiren Shoshu religion) and my first Nichiren Shoshu Gohonzon.

However, I soon found myself, as a member of the Young Men's Division (I was 25), required to be caught up in activities at least 5 days a week, endless meetings, "training" activities, study of Nichiren Daishonin and Daisaku Ikeda writings. I was upset, however, that most of the membership was not permitted to go to the Temple (I received Gojukai and Gohonzon @ Nichiren Shoshu Myoshin-ji Temple) Many of us had to make do with meetings at the community centers and homes of senior leaders. (Though the Joju Gohonzon at the Sacramento community center was a very powerful object of worship).

During the late 1980s, though, my alcohol addiction was getting worse and worse, finally leading me to homelessness and despair in 1988. I stopped drinking (both for physical and financial reasons-too poor to afford booze) and joined Alcoholics Anonymous-though later on I discovered that AA was a very malignant cult. I went into the first of 6 rehabs and I cut back on Gakkai activities.

Through a series of misadventures I won't relate right now, I became homeless again, discovered the WWW and material about the Soka Gakkai that opened my eyes. It turned out that in 1991-92 the Gakkai split away from Nichiren Shoshu and went their own way. I had stayed with the Gakkai for 5 years, at one point having exchanged my original Nichiren Shoshu Gohonzon for a copy the Gakkai had started to manufacture. Well, as soon as I started chanting to it, my misfortunes multiplied. I finally left the Gakkai for good on October 6, 1996 and re-joined Nichiren Shoshu on December 12, 1996.

I finally began my personal awakening a few years after I went on Tozan (formal pilgrimage to Head Temple Taiseki-ji in Japan). Clarity began to emerge, and I have become stronger and stronger in my own recovery. I've finally quit booze for good and I have now meaningful work and peace of mind.

So do what you can to-day to live above mediocrity.

Always take The Red Pill
Tim

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